child safety, parenting

How to gain your child's trust?

At KetchupMoms, we are constantly trying to find answers to questions that are crucial to our kid’s safety. So we are happy to have on board, Anushree Chhabria, a BCOM, LLB with Diploma and M A in Child and Adolescent Psychology. Every week she will help us build a strong relationship with our kids, one post at a time. Today this mother of two will talk about blackmailing and bullying of kids. And importantly how to be that one person whom the child would want to turn to, in times of despair. 


We cannot deny that big bad wolves exist in our kid's fairytale-lives. The question then is, are they ready to face such situations in the real and the virtual world? And, if they are ever blackmailed, would they know that we, their parents will stand by them? Just ask yourself, Can your Child trust you?

Read on to know how you can build trust with your child.
It is imperative to remember that children do not reveal their inner most secrets to parents, as they believe that it will be a source of disappointment, worry and concern to the parent. Furthermore, a child may not trust the parent, to extend unconditional support. This fear of low-level of intolerance and acceptance in a parent, prevents the child from communicating incidents such as blackmailing.

Most Indian parents fail to communicate to their children that they will love and support their children unconditionally. Right from childhood we reward them for their good deeds and punish them for their wrong ones, this phenomenon is fostered even as they enter their adolescence. Consequently, children opt to either confide in a friend or a peer or even worse keep it to themselves. 

trust

1) In my opinion, as parents, we must teach and prepare our children to stand up against matters such as blackmailing, bullying, handling peer pressure and victimisation.

2) Similar to how we train them to react to a disaster, clearly communicate to the child that issues such as blackmailing are not acceptable and is a wrong doing!

3) The child also needs to be assured, that this matter occurs at no fault of theirs but due to a wrong intention instilled by another person against them.

4) Most people inflicting such heinous crimes on children swear them to secrecy and attempt to control a child. Therefore, a child needs to be taught to discuss troubling issues with at least one parent.

5) Importantly, parents need to be vigilant, look out for signs such as child anxiety, loss of appetite,preoccupied in thoughts, lack of interest, poor academic performance, lack of sleep, etc. All such signs in a child are red alerts and hallmarks that a child is experiencing stressful conditions. Talk to your child, get a professional involved and get therapy for children who experience such incidences.

6) If necessary, a parent too should speak to a professional to understand the ways and means to support a child undergoing stressful conditions.

7) It’s important to teach our children coping techniques to battle issues such as blackmailing so that they are equipped to battle any such recurrences in the future.

We need to focus on providing them with good mental healthcare to encourage them to grow into healthy adults. Therefore, do not hesitate to seek help for your child! Today.

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